Okay, so this is the kind of stuff I’m abysmal at - buildings and environments. I need to spend a lot of time practicing by drawing from life and reference. But I’ve got this fucked up complex about sitting down to practice: I feel like it’s a total waste of time, because I will produce nothing of real value, and I could be spending my time drawing things that I’m good at, which I can display and thus be validated in the time I spent.
This is what I meant in my last post - there’s a bunch of anxiety and motivational issues wrapped up in my own perception of my art’s value. I never used to have this problem - I used to fill sketchbooks with all sorts of referenced and crappy pictures that no one would ever see. It’s when I hit a certain landmark of talent that I seem to have unconsciously decided: “Okay, now that I’m good at art, I shouldn’t have to practice anymore. Everything I draw should be good. If it’s not, it’s not worth drawing.”
I know this is fucked up for the obvious reasons, but also because I genuinely like practicing - just drawing for the hell of it, regardless of the finished product. But that raw enjoyment gets totally quashed under this validation complex of mine.
My intuition is telling me that this need for validation in my art is the thing that is holding me back from improving and from being the kind of artist I want to be. But I’m not sure how to get rid of it. My best guess is to try to just power through it, so I’ll work on that and see what happens. In the meantime, if anyone has gone through this or has any insight, please let me know.